Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
