I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize