and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
