my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
