drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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