She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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