but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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