No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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