Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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