i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
