Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
