i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
