Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
