She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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