BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
