Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
