I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my god I love twenty year old dicks
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
