yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My bed smells like the plague
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
