how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
