He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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