they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
