Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize