hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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