Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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