We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
