So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
as a side note pls kill me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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