I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
