Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
