did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
