the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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