I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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