how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
