My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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