When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
