We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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