can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
