Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
