i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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