Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
whose ass print is on the piano?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
