This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
