I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
