My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
