Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
