Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
