i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
