What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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