Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
BRING THE BAGELS
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
