You really coming over, don't trick.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize