after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
