there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
