the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize