i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
