did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
