So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize