He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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