Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
