Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
