i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
