my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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