some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
