So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
