long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
