no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
