yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
