true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this boner is exhausting
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
