two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize