ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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