I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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