fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
