I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think people are normalizing furries
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
