These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
