It's Friday. Sex?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
