brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
