McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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